I grew up in a home where my voice wasn't always heard, so when I became a mother, I made it a priority to have open, honest conversations with my children. I wanted them to know they could talk to me about anything without feeling judged or silenced. I've always given advice because I want to protect them, not control them. But as they've gotten older, I've realized that saying "I told you so" can sometimes make them feel like they can't come to me when things go wrong. I'm learning that my children don't have to follow my advice for my voice to matter. I can disagree with their decisions, let them make mistakes, and still be their safe place. My goal isn't to raise children who always listen to me; it's to raise children who always know they can talk to me no matter the situation.
I know God has to teach me the same things over and over again. So, as I learn to live and love like Jesus, I’m learning to extend that same grace to others. I guess it’s why we go over the room rules in kids every Sunday. And why, with my own kid, I’m constantly repeating myself on purpose before she even has a chance to forget. One of my favorite reminders comes from one of my favorite people: “Grown-ups are just taller kids!” We’re all learning!
OK, I’ll say it. Ouch. Pride. It’s usually with my husband. That “I” word is pretty hard to hear when it’s put this way. It hurts, but the pain of it is really good for me and I’m sure the guy on the other end of it feels like it’s good for me, too. 😊
Thanks for the honesty, Cynthia. I’ve truly said it too many times to count. I’m still saying it, but I’m slowly—at the very least—catching it, and being a little more self-suspicious of my own valor.
I grew up in a home where my voice wasn't always heard, so when I became a mother, I made it a priority to have open, honest conversations with my children. I wanted them to know they could talk to me about anything without feeling judged or silenced. I've always given advice because I want to protect them, not control them. But as they've gotten older, I've realized that saying "I told you so" can sometimes make them feel like they can't come to me when things go wrong. I'm learning that my children don't have to follow my advice for my voice to matter. I can disagree with their decisions, let them make mistakes, and still be their safe place. My goal isn't to raise children who always listen to me; it's to raise children who always know they can talk to me no matter the situation.
That’s strong insight, Mindy. Something that gets learned through living it. Thank you for sharing!
I know God has to teach me the same things over and over again. So, as I learn to live and love like Jesus, I’m learning to extend that same grace to others. I guess it’s why we go over the room rules in kids every Sunday. And why, with my own kid, I’m constantly repeating myself on purpose before she even has a chance to forget. One of my favorite reminders comes from one of my favorite people: “Grown-ups are just taller kids!” We’re all learning!
…🙋🏻♀️ Going to question myself when tempted to say that phrase to my kids loudly or under my breath. Thanks, Hans.
OK, I’ll say it. Ouch. Pride. It’s usually with my husband. That “I” word is pretty hard to hear when it’s put this way. It hurts, but the pain of it is really good for me and I’m sure the guy on the other end of it feels like it’s good for me, too. 😊
Thanks for the honesty, Cynthia. I’ve truly said it too many times to count. I’m still saying it, but I’m slowly—at the very least—catching it, and being a little more self-suspicious of my own valor.